"Daisy!" Demona gasps, dropping the laundry basket in her arms in her surprise. Her finger raises to her lips. "Shh. Not out here. Inside!" She jerks her head at the door she just exited, motioning for Daisy to get in there with her.
Well, at least her senses aren't suddenly playing tricks on her, but the confirmation doesn't make the reality any less immediately confusing. Sundries, probably? But this usually isn't the way round that Sundries gifts go, you usually get less human, not...
Daisy blinks, but breathes an, "Alright, then," and moves to follow Demona inside.
As soon as they are both through the door, Demona shuts it and puts her back against it.
"I was cursed by a trickster. He 'gifted' me this form so that I would be able to move about in the sunlight. No longer do I sleep in stone. Now, when the sun rises, my flesh painfully transforms into what you see before you."
"...jesus christ. Alright, uh— the trickster's not here, right? We haven't been getting new passengers. So you got a package and it was this curse from home?" She groans, pinching the bridge of her nose and muttering, "I swear, every time you get that call it's like playing the letter bomb version of Russian roulette..."
Sometimes you get something perfectly harmless, like her clothes, sometimes, you get your bodily autonomy fucked with to high hell!
"Is it— does it make you fully human? You still smell like you."
"No, Puck is in my world. I hope never to see him again. But, yes, it was a sundries gift that did this. I did not realize it was dangerous to receive them." That was a painful lesson. The pain will continue twice daily now forever.
Her eyes flash red at the suggestion this makes her human at all. "No. I am still myself no matter this form. I am no human."
Daisy doesn't so much as blink, just stares at her unflinching. "Physically, Demona. I'm not taking away your Gargoyle credentials 'cause you got cursed. Just wondering how fucked your strength and durability are when you're like this. Had my own experiences getting made human again, wasn't fun."
Losing her strength, her healing, her endurance, all of it—she hated it. Made her feel weak. Defenceless.
A furrow forms in Daisy's brow. "...what do I mean—" Huh. Did she really not... "I told you. Avatars are made. Hunt got me early, but before I gave myself to it I was still... human? A vicious little shit, but human."
She's no longer really sure where she draws the line between being human-but-a-monster and inhuman. After Calvin in the woods, at the latest. Far before that, if she really thinks about it.
Demona closes her eyes a moment and shakes her head as if trying to jostle her thoughts back into order. Daisy isn't human anymore, so how could she have known? It means nothing. It changes nothing.
"Yes," she finally croaks after a too-long silence, "When I am like this, my senses and my strength are both weakened to that of a human."
That unblinking stare is back. That silence was way too long, and the answer just a little too strained.
"Alright, no. We're not ignoring— whatever just went on in your head. Whatever it is, hit me. Don't make me play sensible adult here. It never lasts long and usually ends in me insulting people to make a point."
Still no blinking. Daisy leans back against the wall, arms folded. "Demona. I guarantee whatever it is, it's not worse than anything I've heard before."
Either from herself, or from others. Honestly, after sitting through the tapes, she's not sure there's much out there that could bother her.
"Fucked, you mean." No euphemisms or taming her words. Daisy's tongue drags over her teeth and the bite of iron helps her think. Alright, then. Not the talk she expected to be having today, but here they are. "Well, for one: I'm not. Saying I'm human 'cause I used to be one is as stupid as saying you're human just 'cause you look like one right now. Maybe stupider. I chose this. Threw my humanity away. And I don't want or need it handed back to me."
"Yes. That's what I mean." She growls. "And, if that's the case then I have nothing to be concerned with. I thought you might be like that woman, Erin, who insists I still call her human despite seeming to be anything but."
Well. That both answers questions and raises more. Daisy sighs, head thunking back against the wall. "I know Erin. Very well. She's got her reasons. But that's one thing we see differently."
Not that she's ever told Erin outright that she no longer sees herself as at all human, nor does she want ever want to again. It feels complicated, somehow. Even though she knows Erin's not the type to think anything bad of it.
"I'm just... me. A Hunter. Nothing human left." For all that she knows she looks human, when you don't look too close, but... "I looked very different when I got turned back. Barely even recognised myself."
"Just?" Demona protests. "You are improved. You are fierce, dangerous, and far more beautiful this way than you could ever be as a human."
She looks down at her own changed human body in contempt. "I do not recognize myself like this either. It's why I took a false name. I did not want to be recognized."
Daisy shakes her head. "Not that kind of 'just'. Better, worse— I'm still just me. Not trying to be anything different. And no two Avatars are the same, anyway."
There's heavy overlap, of course. More among Hunters than even most others. But there's always something that's just you. After being here on the ship, that's more true than it ever was; full animal shapeshifting isn't really a thing, at home.
"Mm. Names. Yeah. I wasn't Daisy when I was human." And now it's the only name that feels right. Her head tilts lazily. "What false name do you use?"
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2024-01-03 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-03 05:36 pm (UTC)Well, at least her senses aren't suddenly playing tricks on her, but the confirmation doesn't make the reality any less immediately confusing. Sundries, probably? But this usually isn't the way round that Sundries gifts go, you usually get less human, not...
Daisy blinks, but breathes an, "Alright, then," and moves to follow Demona inside.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-07 11:51 pm (UTC)"I was cursed by a trickster. He 'gifted' me this form so that I would be able to move about in the sunlight. No longer do I sleep in stone. Now, when the sun rises, my flesh painfully transforms into what you see before you."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-08 02:50 am (UTC)Daisy blinks.
"...jesus christ. Alright, uh— the trickster's not here, right? We haven't been getting new passengers. So you got a package and it was this curse from home?" She groans, pinching the bridge of her nose and muttering, "I swear, every time you get that call it's like playing the letter bomb version of Russian roulette..."
Sometimes you get something perfectly harmless, like her clothes, sometimes, you get your bodily autonomy fucked with to high hell!
"Is it— does it make you fully human? You still smell like you."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-10 05:08 pm (UTC)Her eyes flash red at the suggestion this makes her human at all. "No. I am still myself no matter this form. I am no human."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-11 03:02 am (UTC)Daisy doesn't so much as blink, just stares at her unflinching. "Physically, Demona. I'm not taking away your Gargoyle credentials 'cause you got cursed. Just wondering how fucked your strength and durability are when you're like this. Had my own experiences getting made human again, wasn't fun."
Losing her strength, her healing, her endurance, all of it—she hated it. Made her feel weak. Defenceless.
(She doesn't actually realise she said 'again'.)
no subject
Date: 2024-01-14 05:33 pm (UTC)"Again? What do you mean again?"
no subject
Date: 2024-01-14 06:53 pm (UTC)A furrow forms in Daisy's brow. "...what do I mean—" Huh. Did she really not... "I told you. Avatars are made. Hunt got me early, but before I gave myself to it I was still... human? A vicious little shit, but human."
She's no longer really sure where she draws the line between being human-but-a-monster and inhuman. After Calvin in the woods, at the latest. Far before that, if she really thinks about it.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-19 03:22 pm (UTC)Demona closes her eyes a moment and shakes her head as if trying to jostle her thoughts back into order. Daisy isn't human anymore, so how could she have known? It means nothing. It changes nothing.
"Yes," she finally croaks after a too-long silence, "When I am like this, my senses and my strength are both weakened to that of a human."
no subject
Date: 2024-01-20 01:50 am (UTC)That unblinking stare is back. That silence was way too long, and the answer just a little too strained.
"Alright, no. We're not ignoring— whatever just went on in your head. Whatever it is, hit me. Don't make me play sensible adult here. It never lasts long and usually ends in me insulting people to make a point."
pretend i didn't screw up my icon up there
Date: 2024-01-22 12:44 am (UTC)Part of her wants to say it doesn't matter, that she shouldn't care about the hurt feelings of a human. But. She finds she does.
"It's nothing."
i saw nothing
Date: 2024-01-23 07:44 pm (UTC)Still no blinking. Daisy leans back against the wall, arms folded. "Demona. I guarantee whatever it is, it's not worse than anything I've heard before."
Either from herself, or from others. Honestly, after sitting through the tapes, she's not sure there's much out there that could bother her.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-31 02:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-04 07:54 pm (UTC)"Fucked, you mean." No euphemisms or taming her words. Daisy's tongue drags over her teeth and the bite of iron helps her think. Alright, then. Not the talk she expected to be having today, but here they are. "Well, for one: I'm not. Saying I'm human 'cause I used to be one is as stupid as saying you're human just 'cause you look like one right now. Maybe stupider. I chose this. Threw my humanity away. And I don't want or need it handed back to me."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-09 09:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-12 02:02 am (UTC)Well. That both answers questions and raises more. Daisy sighs, head thunking back against the wall. "I know Erin. Very well. She's got her reasons. But that's one thing we see differently."
Not that she's ever told Erin outright that she no longer sees herself as at all human, nor does she want ever want to again. It feels complicated, somehow. Even though she knows Erin's not the type to think anything bad of it.
"I'm just... me. A Hunter. Nothing human left." For all that she knows she looks human, when you don't look too close, but... "I looked very different when I got turned back. Barely even recognised myself."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-17 10:15 pm (UTC)She looks down at her own changed human body in contempt. "I do not recognize myself like this either. It's why I took a false name. I did not want to be recognized."
no subject
Date: 2024-02-20 06:08 pm (UTC)Daisy shakes her head. "Not that kind of 'just'. Better, worse— I'm still just me. Not trying to be anything different. And no two Avatars are the same, anyway."
There's heavy overlap, of course. More among Hunters than even most others. But there's always something that's just you. After being here on the ship, that's more true than it ever was; full animal shapeshifting isn't really a thing, at home.
"Mm. Names. Yeah. I wasn't Daisy when I was human." And now it's the only name that feels right. Her head tilts lazily. "What false name do you use?"